COVID HELL (sung to the tune of Jingle Bells) Dashing through the snow In a one-horse open sleigh If I catch a cold I’ll get locked away Sneezing’s not a thing Coughing is a fright Spreading droplets if I sing I may not make the night. Oh! Sanitize, Sanitize, Lysol all the way. Oh! what fun to scrub my hands And keep those germs away! Hey! Just be well, just be well Take that shot, they say Just as safe - as cyanide And one foot in the grave!   A day or two ago A booster came to mind I went off to the doc A one pager I signed He stuck the needle in Informed consent – or not Never mind a heart attack, A stroke or a blood clot. Oh! Mask as well, Mask as well, Three ply all the way. Telling us to hide our face To keep those germs away! Hey! To be well, To be well Take a shot, they say Just as safe - as cyanide And one foot in the grave!   I’ve followed all the rules I’ve taken every prick Someone tell me why I keep getting sick?? Could it be the case That we have all been played And everything that we’ve been told Is just a Mask-charade!? Oh! COVID hell! COVID hell! Keep those jabs away! Trust in your immunity To keep those colds at bay, hey! Vax hard pass, kiss my ass Toss your mask away! Celebrate, don’t isolate And live your life your way!